Where does the time go?
You blink and a month has gone by.
I've been meaning to come on and blog - but I keep telling myself tomorrow and then start another project, head out to the garden, or take zoe for a walk.
It has been an amazing summer ...
- skydiving with a wonderful group
- a successful Team Vogel Weekend
- a really bad hiking trip that we survived and made the best of
- craft camp
- the loggers game
Speaking of the Logger Game... I have a picture of the future Team Vogel from the game.
- helping decorate for an amazing wedding
- a trip to Georgia and South Carolina
- some amazing birthday cake
...and now back to work (I just finished my first week back. I definitely feel refreshed from the time off and lucky, but man it is hard to stay focused :).)
As the time continues to fly by and I continue to embrace the day - the moment, I never lose track of how many days it has been since I lost my best friend. I think I've been putting off this blog, for just writing that last sentence brought me to tears (and darn it - I'm at the library borrowing their internet...)
My smile is real now and I've found a way to live again.
I think about Joe every day and can't believe it has been over 3 years since I had the chance to hold his hand. He taught me so many things in the time we had together. I am thankful for the time we had and grateful he is no longer dealing with cancer. I use to wish he were still here, sometimes even thinking I would take a day with Joe and cancer anytime if it meant I could see him. I have changed. I would never take another day with Joe and cancer. Wherever he is - I know he is one healthy guy ,making others laugh, loving unconditionally and making a difference.
Joe and my family taught me to be a survivor. I am surviving and glad I am able to embrace the new opportunities that come my way. It doesn't mean I don't fall - have my bad days - or sometimes wish this wasn't my life. These days are fewer and don't last as long. It is not natural for me to be unhappy - I just needed to figure out it is ok to be happy.
The phrase"time heals" has always bothered me...I think you learn to live with a hole in your heart. I don't think the hole heals, but you can sure put a pretty bandaid on it.
I share this with you for many reasons. I want others to know I am ok and maybe this will help give someone else hope that they will find their way too.
The one thing that never leaves me - the memories... the smiles, the laughter. They fill the hole in my heart on the hard days (and sometimes make me tear up and other days they make me smile).
Signing off and sending my love. Hoping all of you had a wonderful summer and cheers to a new school year starting (in a few days...) I plan to take full advantage of the long weekend!
Peace and Hugs -