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Calling for Family Nominations and Hitting the Rocks...

2/8/2011

3 Comments

 
I would like to remind everyone - We will be accepting nominations through March 31st.  If you know a family in the Winona area, that is dealing with cancer, and could benefit from financial support - please take a moment to share their story and nominate them by clicking HERE.  We will select the families that will benefit from Team Vogel vs. Cancer Fundraising Events the beginning of April.

Hope all of you have been stretching and practicing up for the 1st Annual Team Vogel vs. Cancer Bowling Tournament.  11 days left til the big event.  Please feel free to stop in and join the fun even if you are not signed up on a team - there will be plenty of fun for all.  The tournament will be held at the Winona Athletic Club from 10a - (about 10p).  You can also see all the details by selecting Upcoming Events.

Well - I tried to get on here last night and write, but yesterday was a tough day.  Often times, I don't want to write how I really feel - for then I have to admit this is reality.  Today, I am writing in hopes it will be good therapy.  I think I may have touched one of the rocks in "rock bottom".  I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of not feeling happy, I'm tired of looking at my computer for 2 hours - just trying to send one email.  I'm just tired.  I keep thinking - I sure didn't sign up for this life, but no one would and I wouldn't sign up for any other life either.  It is hard to believe I haven't seen or touched Joe's hand in 6 months.  I try not to count the days, but it is pretty hard not to.  Every night - I cross off the day on the calendar thinking...I made it through another day.

Ever morning I get up and hope it will be a better day.  Somedays flow smoother - other days I can't wait to go back to bed.  I just wish there was medicine or a cure for this pain.  Time seems to be my worst enemy these days but the one thing that may help me deal in the end.  I don't want time to pass me by - for I feel like I move further away from Joe...but I also want time to fly by in hopes it will bring comfort.  

So - last night I crawled into bed, my head spinning like crazy - and zoe began to bark / growl a little.  I just gave here a kiss and told her to hush.  Then my bedroom door slammed shut.  So at that point - I knew Joe was there and telling me to get it together - well needless to say I may have had a few choice words with him - and then let him know I love him more each day.  He sure knows when to show up.

Today's a new day and hopefully will be a better one.  I will never stop hoping for good days - they will come.   

Love - Rach
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3 Comments
Katie
2/9/2011 02:37:47 am

No words to say to help this hurt Rach. The day Joe became our angel a good friend of mine said something to me that I try to remember when Im close to hitting rock bottem. She said " your not going to get over this but you will get through it". That all we need we need to do ' get through' a day, a month, a minute and know that every moment our Joe is with us giving us the strenth to get through.
We love you Rach. Brody sends big hugs and kisses.

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Tanya
2/10/2011 02:15:14 am

I had the most vivid dream the other night that you, Joe & I were driving around. I don't know what we were doing exactly, but I know Joe was driving, I was riding shotgun (I AM his girlfriend, duh!)and you were happily dancing around in the backseat. I don't remember any other details except that we were laughing A LOT and it was just good times like always. I'm pretty sure Joe & I were teasing you about something... maybe your candy eating habits. Or your singing. It's hard to say really ;) Waking up sucked.

I can't believe it's been six months, and yet at the same time it feels like it's been forever. I miss Joe like crazy, and really, I miss you too. I feel your sadness and I wish I could ease it somehow. All I can do is tell you I love you, and I'm here anytime, for anything.

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Cathy L
2/26/2011 02:29:37 am

You do not know me but...you have Helped and touched me thru your struggles. Dave my husband has cancer. (I might add that I do as well, since as a Family we are all affected.)I am trying to stay strong for my kids but it gets really hard.You are a wife..and you are making it thru really gives me relief.When we (survivers of a loved one with cancer)know of others like us... it helps keep us strong. THank you for JUST WHO YOU ARE and what you are doing for others!!Sincerely!!

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    Joe Vogel began his battle with cancer in 2006. He became a leader in his community and a hero among his friends and family. He made it his personal mission to help in the fight against cancer. His wife Rachel is carrying out his dream to help families dealing with cancer and to find a cure for this disease.

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